Depressed

Self-loathing asshole. Get the fuck away from me.
I hate you.



... if I died right now, I wonder how many people would think about me.

I'm depressed.

I had a title, but I forgot it

It has recently occurred to me that the reason I forget things and don't do what I say I'll do sometimes is because of this really awful gene that runs in my father's side of the family. I constantly have so many things on my mind that I find myself trying to multi-task a thousand things at once. And I stop when in the middle of one to attend another, and forget about that one to do another.

It is quite possibly the worst feeling ever.

It's been like this my whole life. I hate it. My brother doesn't have it. Somehow I managed to obtain the bad genes from both sides of my family, where my brother just kind of got random genes. The lucky bitch.

Like right now, I forgot about my waffles. They got burned. So did my coffee. I have five things to do today, of which I can only remember two of them. Going to the bank and trying to get my car's windshield fixed. This is where to do lists come in handy.

But somehow I always manage to forget to write one.

So I end up like this. Depressed and pissed off because I am walking somewhere for the love of god I can't remember why.

Today I was depressed but saw this picture of Yoshi and it made me laugh

Today started off well. Heavy Drinking and girls in bikinis. But then once my friends and I tried to wakeboard I became depressed. Mostly because I could barely stand up on the fucking thing, which to me makes no bit of sense since I can snowboard, skateboard and surf but I for some reason can get up on a wakeboard. Anyway, after realizing how much I sucked and that two girls could do it but I couldn't, I got pissed off, which eventually led to me being depressed.

Then I had some really good pizza that a really cool girl paid for and I became less depressed. Then I came home napped with this really cool girl and became even less depressed. Then I saw this photo and stopped being depressed all together. I guess the fact that it was overcast all day only made it worse. Meh.

I don't see why weather influences mood, but it does for some reason. Whatever. Fuck my life. I'm incredibly tired as of right now, my arms won't go above my head and I can't stop thinking about that girl. I want to write. But I can't because the only thing that is coming out of my brain right now is stream of thought, which most of the time doesn't make for interesting writing. Unless I had a huge fan base. Then it would. But I don't. Because I suck.

*sigh* ... fuck my life.